Got a pocket full of rainbows, got a heart full of love.

2010-04-08T20:51:00.002+08:00

I HAVE MOVED HERE!

though i know there arent many readers but still ....

2010-04-05T01:04:00.000+08:00

wow... i haven't blog for so long! wanted to blog all the while but im just plain lazy to. too lazy to save all the pictures on facebook to my iphoto so i can upload here. but ive to say that this past week has been a blast! helped out as a dresser again, met new friends, and then i keep going out w my girls and met up with the two cheers. ive had so much fun it seems criminal. but this is what i should do since im having my holidays! and i heard year two's going to be tough.... oh well! lets just see how things goes. i want to blog bout what happened during my three weeks stay at miri, and then what happened since i got back. i promise it wouldnt be boring... i havent been this tired for a long time alr. so give me some time rejuvenate before anything new is going to be up here. :)

.

2010-03-22T03:27:00.000+08:00

This is just a misunderstanding, I don't want this to ruin us. We've been having so much fun for the past month. We'll make it through right? We're going to be just fine.

YOWZAA!

2010-03-20T21:51:00.001+08:00

I just realized today that making IDD 019 calls from a Starhub prepaid card to Malaysia is free of charge!

LIFE IS GOOD.

I'M BACK.

2010-03-19T22:32:00.000+08:00

i'm finally back! & i'm feeling really lost after spending most of the month away from home, i suddenly dont know what to do now that i am back. i have a lot to settle before i settle back into my old routine. my debit card is missing, it's somewhere in the house but i just dont know where i put it. i have to unpack the luggage (oh man) and then i've to pay my phone bills but first i need to locate my missing debit card. and then what else, my nails are ugly i need to do something bout it. idk what to do tomorrow. i'm feeling lost maybe not bcus i've been away too long, perhaps it's because i'm here without you around me :(

anyhoo, give me sometime to deal with everything and i shall upload the pictures and blog bout it! a whole long post of it :D

hello!

2010-03-01T23:24:00.001+08:00

the room is damn cold, yet i'm too lazy to adjust anything. quite boring here... the nicest channel is disney channel haha. tomorrow i'll be going back to his home and meet his parents, i'm scared. the last time i met a boyfriend's parents was four years ago hahaha. wish me luck!

i'm feeling lost.

I need help :(

2010-02-27T02:00:00.001+08:00

I have this feeling that I don't like. Especially not at this time. There's this weird feeling churning inside my stomach, I tried to act normal but I can't. I'm irritated and I'm throwing despising glances, I know you don't know what I'm talking bout, but I don't want to make it too obvious. I am going to fuck this up, aren't I? Cus it feels exactly like the previous time. Oh my god, no please, please don't let it happen this time :(

snips,

2010-02-26T19:23:00.000+08:00

i cut my hair! i know it's not much of a difference bcus i'm trying to keep it long, still i had it trimmed and i personally really think berne's hands and his scissors can do wonders :)

met ming aft her work and then we went for manipedi & then she accompanied me to my haircut. i bought an aviator shades too! excited to wear it out. & everyth's been confirmed, leaving on sunday first thing in the morning. won't be back till probably two weeks later! i am excited :D

freaky fingers.

2010-02-24T03:01:00.002+08:00

isn't my manicure niceeee? in love w it cus the colour is somehow the same as tiffany's blue box. :) it's not even OPI but it doesnt seemed to be matter, most importantly is that it's good and it's cheap!

i have to ask my dad the question tomorrow, and honestly i'm frightened to death. it's not going to be all good i know. it definitely will involve some crying and scolding and arguing but i don't want to care... cus i want this so badly. urgh, growing up i never have to ask my parents' permission bout anyth. i'm not asking them now as well, just informing them bout what i'm going to do.. still... :(

Say it again, for me.

2010-02-23T02:23:00.000+08:00

I am so excited! I have tons lining up for me during the hols, but first I have to finish studying by tonight and score well for my paper tmrw since my paper today was alr screwed. My heart beats twice as fast when I think of the holidays. Yay :D

I will love you forever and that's the problem.

2010-02-22T04:06:00.000+08:00

I have such low faith in my paper tomorrow. I studied for the major question, it shouldn't be a huge problem. But the rest of the paper... oh gosh. I regret that I spent too much of my time studying things that aren't important. Still, I hope the rest of the paper turns out to be easy, I hope I can at least get a B? Man, I don't like this feeling. I like being proud of the fact of knowing that I will be able to score well even before seeing the paper. And tomorrow, that's not happening.

Anyway, had a spat... I want to trust you and believe you baby, 'cause I don't want to live the rest of my life without you in it. And one time I tried to imagine forever with somebody else, and it's just so weird and out-of-place. I want you and I promise, promise that I will have 100% faith in you like you have in me. Cus I really really do love you. :)

Time check: 4:04. Three more hours and I'm going to be awake again for the paper. Sigh :(

so i fly here then we fly there then you fly back there and i fly back here.

2010-02-21T01:04:00.000+08:00

finally came up with a whole new plan of meeting up with leong in the upcoming holidays. and he agreed to everything that i've said! & i'm crossing my fingers that tomorrow morning he don't come telling me that he rmbrs nothing bcus hes was alr dozing off when i said it. :( anyway i am quite excited even though it involves great sum of money. uh well. long-distance relationships = spending of money. but getting to see him is the best part and there's nothing i wouldn't do to just spend more time with him! :D

right now i've gotta bath to keep me energize and chiong finish the last two chaps. i haven't even start on ah nan's revision, omg :(

CNY'10.

2010-02-20T23:33:00.000+08:00

I am finally here to blog about CNY! Actually it wasn't my initial intention to blog but I got inspired by others' blogs who have pretty pictures on their blog and so here I am!

First day,

usual family visiting and I won big bucks from playing Lok Dim. It's a no-brainer game and I kept winning and so I told everybody it is a fun game. But all my sisters disagreed with me cus they didn't win at all hehe.

they.are.just.jealous.

Met with my girls afterwards for "Valentines' day", I know I've mentioned it alr but this show is nice so please watch it - single or attached :) Before the movie, we headed to 糖水春 not for their 糖水 but for their dim sum. And I swear the lighting there is so good, it's the best place to take photographs ever.

Tried to smize like what Tyra Banks asked the models to do, but look at our version:

FAILED MISERABLY.

Haha in one picture when we took smize-ing really seriously, we ended up looking like we were stoning haha. Sersiously uh, bu shi model de liao jiu bu yao xue zuo model hahaha.

Next,

over to Chin's old place for some overnight goody-goody gambling session :)

& then when we finally got to playing mj, we had to diao-zhng so many times that we gave up after West. & then proceeded with banluck and thanks to Chin's bak-kwa, everyone got so high after eating it, especially me. And Chris. Hahaha thinking back, I think that's the funniest hour of the entire CNY.

& Wilson was so sweet he bought us girls roses from another girl who couldn't finish selling it. I think Chris shared with him? I don't know but it was really sweet of them. I got reminded of vday when we were 16 and this bunch of guys gave me and Yeeling vday presents too :)

Second day,

visiting as usual and sister's place for gambling. Lucky Nelson actually got triple sevens, woohoo, and then Chris called and asked if I was up for another round that night. And I agreed!

So we went over to Sam's and gambled till dawn, again.

Third day,

the girls came over for steamboat! I really liked that we could sit there and talked for as long as we wanted to, which was seriously very long haha. Though we had to clean up on our own after that but nevermind lah, worth the while right!

& then the four of us went to some sleazy website and laughed at some really disgusting fella with disgusting clothes HAHAHA I have to show those pictures to Leong man I swear. That fella totally made my day.

And then, if you're wondering why I still have time to blog about these, it's because everytime while I wait for Leong to call, I can't study. Nothing goes into my mind. But after the call, I can concentrate as much as I want to. So, as part of an excuse, I might as well come here and use some internet since nothing is going into my head right!

Have a happy day studying guys!

& i'm so glad that you're mine. :)

2010-02-20T22:47:00.001+08:00

the reason why i always say leong is my best friend: last night over the phone we were talking bout celebrities, here goes -

me: then i prettier or angelina jolie prettier HAHAHA

him: you. cus i dont like angelina jolie

me: HUH you dont like angelina jolie? but she hot eh. then who you like?

him: that girl not bad uh... the taylor.... swift taylor.

me: WAH since when you know who is taylor swift!

him: eh i read newspaper they got put one lei. yah she not bad uh. she with the old guy now right?

me: who who old guy? she was with the wolfman guy

him: yah i know, but they broke up alr mah. she with the old guy now lah, the john... john mayer isit?

me: really meh! i dont know leh. wait uh (went googling)... wah really eh! leong im so proud of you, since when you so hip one!

him: correct right hehe.

me: the wolfman guy taylor lautner hot meh, why everyone say he hot?

him: taylor lautner uh... not handsome lah. okok only lor.

me: hehe yah lor i also think so. then zac efron lei?

him: wah that one no need say.... of cus hot lah!

hehehe talking to him is like gossiping with my girlfriends. hes unlike other boyfriends who will just "mm' and "uh" when you tell him bout girly stuffs, instead he will comment and sometimes bitch with me hahahaha. told you hes my bestest friend :D

珍惜眼前人，

2010-02-19T20:52:00.002+08:00

一直在想，我和他到底适不适合？

会不会我想要的他都给不了？

是否我们上次的分手不只是因为距离的关系那样简单？

会否我们一直以来都在骗自己？

说真的，这段日子我挣扎的好辛苦。

之间很清楚要的只是他，

多艰难的路途我都要为了和他在一起而拼下去。

可是随着他伤害我越来越多次，我渐渐的感到心灰。

是否应该继续，还是该趁现在放弃？

两个人在一起是因为需要彼此吗？

如果不需要彼此但仍想和他一起，那不是爱的比需要来得深吗？

就好比女人爱上了一个皮包，但她是不需要那个皮包的，

可是因为太爱了，所以即使不需要也要把它占有，这不是比需要来的更爱吗？

我是需要他的。

只不过随着这些日子的聚少离多，讨厌孤寂的我也渐渐习惯了一个人生活。

是的，有他在的时候，是真的很快乐，很幸福。

因为他是我最好的朋友，他是每晚无论多累也要听我倾诉的那个人。

即使常常都会听到睡着了，他也会拼了命的听我讲完。

也许没那么需要了，但爱始终却没有减少。

只是有些时候看到朋友和爱人的照片，不停的向我示威着，心里难免感到有点空虚。

似乎很久没有感到 in love 了。

心中不免有些埋怨，也开始在想是不是我要的你也许都给不了。

我也开始嫌东嫌西，

嫌你的不浪漫，嫌你的不体贴，嫌你不够爱我。

开始想着如果你不能满足我，我们是不是应该分手。

但偶然间，

我看到了这句话：

”什么也不求，所以什么也不缺”。

我才顿时领悟到是我的要求太高了，

是我常常放大你的缺点来看。

想着你的坏处时，也从来没有想到才昨晚，是我因为想着你多么爱我而睡不着。

才昨夜，是我像个傻瓜般在午夜时分仍对着自己傻笑。

人就是这样，

特别是像我这样的女生，

盲目的追求，

却忽略其实现在所拥有的已是足够的了。

“Hold the correct person close to your heart because your might wake up one day and realize that you've lost a diamond while you were too busy collecting stones.”

gong xi ah gong xi, fa ya fa da cai!

2010-02-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

look at our faces and you know we're losing big bucks haha.

the cny vibe finally kicked in after reunion dinner when i started to win money fr my sisters and bros -in-law! the last few days have been crazy gambling. on vday, watched valentines day with gladys and casse. the movie was good, pls go and catch it! & then had dinner w chris and gang and off to play overnight mj and banluck at liangchin's old house! at the end of the night all of us got so high fr eating bak-kwas, we were literally shouting 'LAI' all the way when we open our cards, it was so funny i got so tired from laughing hehe.

yesterday, to my dad's side for visiting and then another round of banluck at my sister's. it was so fun playing with my family, cracking jokes about absolutely nothing. & then chris called and last minute plans - we went to sam's place and for another round of overnight banluck!

and for today, in another hour my favourite girls in the whole wide world is coming over to my house for steamboat session! can't wait, i've got so much to tell them. :)

and i miss my guy. hes over at bkk and with some phone probs, we've only texted each other less than 5 times over the last 4 days. how pathetic. and i hope he can faster go back to miri so we can resume our normal lives. and also, for exams to end quickly so i can fly over to him asap! <3

hi i am stupid.

2010-02-13T02:42:00.000+08:00

come to think of it, what leong said about me was true. i am stupid enough to let people take advantage of me, and then cry to myself at the end of the night. and by the next day, i act like nothing has happened and continue to treat those people nicely and give them whatever I can give. I wish I can stop letting people hurting me without letting them realize that what they are doing to me is wrong. And it hurts even more when one of those people is someone who is so important to me. sighs.

:(

2010-02-07T19:09:00.002+08:00

Going through a rough patch... being so faraway doesn't help at all, in fact it certainly make things worse. I am so disheartened but I am reluctant to give this relationship up. Everyone knows how hard I fought for this and am definitely going to fight for it. But sometimes, I can only do so much.

How to win over a Virgo man

2010-02-07T17:06:00.002+08:00

Don't press this guy for sentimentality. If he doesn't make a big deal about your relationship anniversary, remember all the little things he does day to day. He's got a steady nature and won't want too much drama. He likes order, routine and keeping his life under control. Get involved with his daily routine, and soon you'll be integrated into his life.

He's a true hermit, so don't force too much togetherness. His Sun sign destiny is to achieve self-containment, and this requires a lot of solitude. Give him the freedom to go off and do his own thing, and he'll keep coming back.

give thanks to technology!

2010-02-02T00:05:00.000+08:00

had my first webcam session with baby just now! tried skype-ing and everything for so long but nothing worked, until we finally worked out a solution and managed to video call! you don't know how big my smile was when his face popped up on the screen hehehe. he still looks so handsome HAHA but fatter. oh man, hahaha people big boss now, whole day long sit in the shop collect money no wonder.

i am so happy i finally got to see him! just seeing him moving in front of me is good enough, i can now continue my tahan-nation till march! yippee :D

LGMH.

2010-02-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

I.AM.SO.TIRED.

woke up after a mere one and a half hour's sleep this morning at 7 and popped over to ecp for 'run for my lunch', didn't run... obviously hahaha but i did my part okay! all for the cause of charity. came home and slept for 5 hours straight, so satisfying. anyway, met wan aft that and got a new camera. couldn't stop playing with it and now i am so exhausted, my eyelids are crashing shut.

on a side note, i realized how much my dad loves my mom. he was experimenting with my new camera, and looking through the pictures of gladys and i. he just scrolled through the pictures of us, and when it's a picture of my mom, he would pause and admire it for ten seconds before continuing. and when taking pictures, he would take pictures of my super unglam mom instead of his all-dressed-up daughter - me. i look at how their eyes sparkle when they look at each other and how they make each other laugh so easily. it's very heartwarming to know that people are actually capable of staying in love even after so long. :)

why you so bo liew?

2010-01-30T02:52:00.001+08:00

3cheers! went shopping at ikea today! went over to rp to meet the two of them first, quite alot have changed, the atm have shifted and then there's a shop called "peacemakers" and there's a huge wall picture of minghee at the entrance and i didn't get to drink my favourite milk tea :(

the journey to ikea was super long and torturous to the both of you i know, i am sorry haha. thanks for accompanying me there to get my stuffs, you guys are great :)

got this for tangle so he can stop stealing mine. it looks like a bear version of archie cus of the pimples haha

"no one snatches my food!"

ate alot today anyway hehe

omg the chicken wings are the bessssst!

i can't stop laughing at kev's face hahaha, you got so tired meh? boliew.

almost got this lamp! abit girlish for me aye? but it's nice though.

borrowed some new invented words from kev's friend and we ended up making sentences with these stupid words and we kept laughing non-stop. don't know quite how to describe here so i'm not going to try, just know that we had fun! :) bought quite some stuffs from ikea anyways - colourful clothes hanger, paper tray, the bear and the photo hanger which i've to either wait for kev or my brother in law to help me fix it on my wall. it's gonna be pretty, i can't wait!

always my sunshine,

2010-01-29T03:17:00.000+08:00

i hope this month's allowance is already here, can't check though - ibanking is down. i really need cash cus i'm going to buy stuffs for my room tomorrow from ikea. yay to going out with prissy and kev, i miss them both and i need lots of kev's latest updates ha. anyway, today has been quite an emotional ride. it's the first time i've ever felt this way, to just give up and hide away. i'm not someone who will avoid responsibilities but today, i did. it's not a good thing, but once in a while, it feels great to just let yourself free and not dwell on anything. for the first time in my life, i avoided his calls. my heart aches everytime the phone starts to ring and his picture starts to show up on the screen, but i kept telling myself not to pick up. i don't know exactly what i was dodging, but i knew i really needed a break from everything. from the moment we became a couple, i had to deal with extraordinary stuffs that other couples don't have to deal with. not that i'm complaining, but two years into it, it's starting to take on its toll and i'm beginning to feel the strain. the quarrels and everything are just fucked-up and for just one day, you wish you don't have to resolve it and just let the problems disappear by themselves, but they wouldn't. i must applaud anyway, for the fact that i could resist the temptation of just picking up the phone and call him for nearly 20 hours. i.am.bravo. everyone knows how needy i am to him, but there, i did it!

i gave my heart and my mind a big break today and i'm really glad i did. nevertheless, at around 1 am i finally caved in and gave him a call and talked things through. at least it's all good now, i can hear birds chirping and smell sunshine all around me haha. i love him so much, all of you know that. i just needed some time off, not for anybody, just for myself. i guess everyone should do it sometime. just fuck care anybody's else needs and responsibilities and what-nots, if you feel like you need a holiday, go for it. cause you're the one living your life, not anybody else.

aye, just my two cents' worth :)

没有你会死掉，

2010-01-29T00:03:00.001+08:00

黑夜将城市笼罩
想念蔓延在细胞
想妳的拥抱
妳的微笑
想到快要疯掉
爱妳到莫名其妙
上了瘾无可救药
没有妳
会死掉
我不再开心的笑
痛苦在胸口燃烧
在妳离开以后
寂寞把我逼进了墙角
不听别人的劝告
才掉进妳的圈套
现在知道
却放不掉
世界慢慢的变老
戒不掉对妳的依靠
失去重心该怎么好
每个表情都能治疗
相思的煎熬
戒不掉妳对我的好
像被关在想念的牢
只剩寂寞缠绕着我
我无路可逃
就是戒不掉对妳的依靠
就是戒不掉妳对我的好

再不用多久，

2010-01-28T13:09:00.000+08:00

你总是说我在

这样孤单时候

才会想与你联络

然而谈的情

说的爱不够

说来就来说走就走

怎么会不懂我

怎么会不知道

女人的心是脆弱

寂寞不是我

不能够忍受

只是每一天

我想你太多

其实不想走

其实我想留

留下来陪你每个春夏秋冬

你要相信我

再不用多久

我要你和我今生一起度过

其实不想走

其实我想留

留下来陪你每个春夏秋冬

你要相信我

再不用多久

我要你和我今生一起度过

窦娥

2010-01-26T22:14:00.001+08:00

窦娥冤死，我看了她的戏后，为什么我也会冤死啊哈哈哈

ting ting na neng yu.

2010-01-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

can anybody be my tutor for 文学'你'论? studying from the slides was already a chore, then when i try to study from the textbook, i just died. i swear for the first time, i put all my heart and soul in it to absorb, i did understand most of the part but i'm already strained. & you know how much i've studied? --- the important points she noted in one single slide. i'll kowtow to anybody who can study this module for hours straight. it's so damn bloody difficult!

where got so lucky?!

2010-01-24T04:21:00.000+08:00

I had a dream about turtles and somehow I linked it to prosperity. Like they say when you dreamed of snakes, you are going to win money. So I told Mom to buy 4D for me - 5031. & told B to help me buy 0360 over there. And so, 1503 came up for Singapore's 4D. & 0361 came up in Malaysia. Urgh, just one digit difference! :(

my heart is filled with you.

2010-01-24T02:28:00.002+08:00

You're stuck on me and my laughing eyes
I can't pretend though I try to hide
I like you
I like you
I think I felt my heart skip a beat
I'm standing here and I can hardly breathe
You got me, Yeah 
You got me

The way you take my hand it's just so sweet
And that crooked smile of yours
It knocks me off my feet

Oh, I just can't get enough
I'm astute, I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
Cuz everything that I've been dreaming of
I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin
Cuz no matter what I do
Oh, oh my heart is filled with you

I can't imagine what it be like (Oh)
Living each day in this life without you (Oh)
Without you (Oh)
One look from you 
I know you understand (Oooh)
This mess were in, ya know
It's just so...out of hand.

Oh, I just can't get enough
I'm astute, I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
Cuz everything that I've been dreaming of
I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin
Cuz no matter what I do
Oh, oh my heart is filled with you

I hope we always feel there's a way (I know we will)
And in my heart I know that you will always stay

Oh, I just can't get enough
I'm astute, I need to fill me up
It feels so good it must be love
I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin
Cuz no matter what I do
Oh, I just can't get enough
I'm astute, I need to filll me up
It feels so good it must be love
(Cuz everything that I've been dreaming of)
I give up, I give in, I let go, let's begin
Cuz no matter what I do
Oh, oh my heart is filled with you

Oh, Oh
You got me, You got me
Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh
You got me, You got me

pa & ma's spects.

my favourite body part of his

certis cisco's family day @ sentosa

holland road

valentines day @ pulau ubin

kaizer's bday @ dajie's house

malacca

i ❤ you

'cus you had a bad day.

2010-01-22T22:43:00.000+08:00

today is such a bad day. first the presentation was a mess - the ppt and everything. first thing in the morning and it has alr caused such chaos in me. it's not anybody else's fault, i mean who asked me to not double-check the content aft transferring the file right. it's just i'm a little disappointed that it didn't go well as expected cus i did put in effort aesthetics-wise before the presentation. & then things after that was still a mess, events didn't go according to plan. i wonder why but i'm really frustrated. i know i'll be all up and chirpy if i get to webcam with baby now but the fastest he can get his webcam fixed is perhaps two days later? have you ever miss someone so much that you just feel damn irritated with it? like you wished you could kiss him and hug him right this moment but you can't. weird emotions have been bottling up inside me for the past few days and i am so easily irritated i'd rather stay in and not talk to anyone. today is just bad. & i hope today ends quickly so i am one day closer to seeing baby, and also to spend another 24 in a fresh good day.

polaroid corner.

2010-01-21T01:31:00.006+08:00

shopping spree with ming today! bought quite a lot of stuffs, i'm contented cus i finally have clothes to wear to school, yippee. i hope my sugar daddy gives me money asap this month cus i really have to buy a lot of things. stupid camera, it has to die on me at this point of time :( ming brought me to this jap restaurant for dinner tonight and i'm in love with it! couldn't stop raving to leong bout how great the salmon is, i can't wait for him to come over so i can bring him there. feels absolutely amazing to be in a relationship with a fellow glutton *grins*

that's my sweetheart.

2010-01-15T21:42:00.002+08:00

that day when we were out, i didn't put on any makeup. afterwards when i came out of the toilet with makeup applied, he looked at me and said:

"you got put makeup meh?"

i nodded. and he scrutinized my face again and said:

"no difference lei. i guess maybe to me, with or without makeup, you always look so pretty."

<3

2010-01-15T02:06:00.002+08:00

宝贝说：

“ 我要你不要乱花钱，省钱，我们一起出国。”

以后就别再分开了

2010-01-13T19:41:00.000+08:00

so, baby went back this morning alr and i cried like mad. knew this day was going to come but still, couldn't control my tears since last night. these seven days were amazing, with him around, it's like rainbows and sunshine and laughters and smiles, nothing can bring us down. & i especially love those heart to heart talk where i tell him how much he means to me and how much me to him. having a long-distance relationship is really tough, and i don't know how long i can hold out. but for him, i know i'll persevere till the very end. for him, i'll do just almost anything.

“因为在遥远的天边，有一个在等我，守护我的天使”

2010-01-11T03:01:00.001+08:00

i am in bliss.

i absolutely love having him around, just having him is enough for everything. we do the stuffs we like, we go to the places we fancy and we talk like no one else understands. i love him. as i watch him leaving in a cab just now, i thought "he's gonna be my baby forever".

saw a shooting star today! so unexpectedly and i am happy bcus we were holding hands when we saw it, and i was singing love song to him hehe so sweet right i know though he didn't get to see it. :(

two to three more days left, i'm dreading it. i know he's not gonna be able to stay but seven days are not enough. i want him by my side forever :(

side note: my camera's spoilt! out of so many days it has to spoil now!

"I was hanging in the corner with my four best friends."

2010-01-06T03:29:00.000+08:00

finally the whole of punehto went out today for some sushi actions. we five are gluttons and we can't stop eating and talking and crapping and laughing, and we come up with all sorts of stupid games just so we can laugh. :)

today, the joke master is of cus gladys wong! or (ugly gladys wong hahaha)

joke one.

scenario: taking ugly pictures of one another

me: omg we should set up a tumblr and post gross pictures

ming: like fuckyeahgrosspictures.tumblr.com!

me: yeah, and the grossiest picture would of cus be gladys'

gladys: aye what, where got grorss?

the other four: HAHAHAHAH GRORSS

gladys: hahaha what y'all laughing at, i said grorss leh

the other four: HAHAHAHAH GROSS LAH!

gladys: oh, i still thought i correct

HAHAHAHAH

joke two.

scenario: playing name game in which if we say a name, we must say another name which starts with the alphabet which the last name ends with. example, first name: samantha, second name must starts with A.

one of us: aye shit i stuck sial, 'I' very hard eh.

gladys: ann-ree-guay ee-gla-saiss

me: HAHAHAHAHAHA

casse: (stunned) what?

me: enrique iglesias!

HAHAHAHA BUAY TAHAN

WAN, YOU VERY AWK. WARD. LEH

oh joke three. this one not involving gladys

scenario: hungry me was imagining casse as a huge sushi roll and was being irritated by her non-stop chanting

casse: blah blah blah blah

me: casse can you just shut up? you know in my head you are alr a giant sushi roll, DONT MAKE ME EAT YOU

(later in the toilet)

casse: blah blah blah blah

me: oie enough hor sushi roll, DONT MAKE ME EAT YOU. faster come out of the toilet lei, why sushi roll so long one haha

casse: wait lah, sushi roll having menses

*sam, ming and i paused for a second*

ming: ok, that just killed all of our appetites

hahahahah grorss sial!

girls' night out are always fun, to have them as my best friends is such huge blessing. ok, i promised b i'll pack my luggage today so i shall. and i will. :S

another 8 hours hehehehehehe!

happy thoughts,

2010-01-05T03:18:00.000+08:00

ttomorrow i shall conquer the test, go for my dental, and meet my girlz for sushi. & the day after tomorrow, you know what's gonna happen? i'm gonna meet the love of my life... i love life!

:(

2010-01-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

i.am.quite.unhappy.

03102010.

2010-01-03T04:25:00.000+08:00

i remember going out with cassandra and sam on this day, i vaguely remember we had gelare and then on the train i joyously said to sam "i'm finally single after two years!". sam had to leave so i brought casse to hip diners' for dinner, and before i left, i said to him, "do you wanna send me home?" it was meant to be a joke, but then he agreed to it, to be honest i was shocked. & so we hanged around downstairs, the usual spot, our lao di fang ;) he put his hands ard my shoulders and i was flushed. then he gently kissed my cheeks and my hair and said i smelt nice haha. & then he told me, "i love you." i looked at him, stunned. i said, "what?" he said, "i love you, shouldn't you reply something?" i hesitated for a long while and i couldn't stop giggling. finally i replied. "i love you too." & then this bastard turned and said, "finish?" i glared at him, frowning. and then he started singing, "i love you, you love me, we are happy family~"

yeah fuck right hahaha that's how i confessed to him -.- but after that he said it again, "i love you", this time not a barney theme song, he meant it fr his heart. later that night, we kissed for the first time and before he left, he said, "so, i should call you dear now. bye dear, i love you."

so, that was two years ago on this very night. it was amazing and unbelievable. if you'd ever hear bout the story of my crush on him and how i went gaga over the mere sight of his name tag, i'll definitely top your list for the "craziest bitches of all time". two years later, it's still as amazing and unbelievable that i've found this man and he has fallen in love with me. though we've been apart in status, and still apart physically but i know we are always in each other's hearts and that's all that matters. to be able to have you as a partner, i'm eternally grateful. a few more days and we shall reunite again, it gets me so excited i couldn't sleep last night. i love you baby, i always will. happy second anniversary :)

TWENTY-TEN!

2010-01-02T09:45:00.001+08:00

ello wello happy new year everyone! time passes so quickly uh, one moment i'm still reminiscing 2008, another moment i'm alr celebrating the arrival of 2010. wonder if your countdown went well? mine certainly went with a blast. i hope this good ending bodes well for the new year too. my 2009 was mundane for most parts, most exciting memory was hongkong for my birthday which still comes flashing on my mind every now and then. but then 2009 disappointed me at the later half when we broke up, had the biggest heartbreak and lost the love of my life. but at the very end, i had him back in my arms again. sooooo idk how i shld feel bout this year, but i wish 2010 can be smooth-sailing and without any major hiccups. great that 09 is over, it's time for good things to move apart so better things can get together in 2010, cheers!

my last day of 2009 was spent with my secondary school friends, kickstarted the day with mahjong session at wilson's. i miss all of them hehe, chin's super gayness and how amazingly irritating karhao can be, but all in all, i love all of them and now it's 2010, we're stepping into our 7th year alr. wow!

after MJ, some left while most of us proceeded on with karaoke singing at top one. had great deal of fun, as expected. it's still the old songs that made us super high, for one great example: "i dont wanna miss a thing" by aerosmith, woohoo that's my climax of the whole night haha. by 11:59, the screen came on the countdown alarm thingy and we welcome 2010 in our karaoke room. it was nice and different for once, pity we didnt get to see the fireworks but other than that, everything turned out really fine :)

i luv you girls, you guys are my bestest friends and too bad ming cant join us on that night. the single lad(ies) have to countdown with fwens while you get to celebrate with 71 uh! lucky bitch, we love you nonetheless hee.

k still think that gladys and wilson looked damn compatible over here.

wan, i think you can ditch mr k (the handsome one) and choose wilson, i bet he does a better impersonation of james blunt than mr k (again, the handsome one)!

whee nice time catching up with chrissypoo, i love you!

still thinks sec sch friends are the best, we are so used to one another's flaws, it no longer irritates you (k not talking bout karhao over here) haha, thanks for celebrating the arrival of '10 with me guys. love y'all so much, will love y'all till 2100 :D

last but not least, happy twenty ten everyone,

here's to an amazing year ahead! :)

So, for my christmas week I ...

2009-12-27T03:27:00.001+08:00

weekdays: clubbing on ladies' night. first butterfact, next stjames, finally rebel. the queue was so muthafucking long we had to club-hop till we finally entered rebel, which sucks. i hate rebel guys. there was this short and fat and ugly indian old man who was grinding us, and he refused to stop even when we pushed him away. urgh. had no choice but to turn to zirca instead, i enjoyed myself though hehe it doesnt matter if the music isn't that hip. as long as i have my girlies :)

xmas eve was spent at home, cus i thought i was having a xmas celebration with wan. turns out i had stomach flu on xmas day, and spent the entire day on sickbed, applied to boxing day as well... haven't gone out for three days straight. no idea if i'm going to fully recover by tomorrow either, oh manz.

sista's getting married next tues! i'm not feeling it yet, but soon hehe. i'm always excited bout stuffs that i'm not the one going thru. sidenote: i've got the complete season three of friends in my ipod and i'm happy! halfway thru revamping my ipod too, gonna download more seasons of friends soon, uh i just can't get enough of it :) oh, i just finished watching xiaxue's wedding propsal video, it's so sweet, made me gushed throughout. if you're free, like me, go watch it kay!

i wanna recover soon so i can get my chores done!

all i want for christmas, is you.

2009-12-25T02:08:00.000+08:00

merry christmas everybody!

christmas isn't christmas without you, it's just another ordinary day, maybe just a little lonelier. i'm unsure of plans tomorrow but i'm sure it'd work out fine, as long as i still have my pal with me. on the phone, we reminisced about last year's christmas together, and i started to cry. it may have been kinda the last christmas we've ever spent together physically, but well like he said, we'd like to spend next year's christmas together, with our bodies side by side. i can't wait :)

it's been a lonely and boring christmas eve for me today, but for everyone else, i wish everybody a nice and lively and happy christmas tomorrow. have a joyful christmas <3

-

2009-12-24T19:26:00.000+08:00

You never think before you speak, and the words always wound up hurting me. I'll cry and feel upset but when I take some time to think about the exact words you said after that, I'll always realize you actually said something sweet in between those sentences. I wonder if it's a good thing after all, haha.

happy first night ever <3

2009-12-23T03:56:00.000+08:00

actually it's not until tomorrow, but i reckon i won't have time to blog about this tomorrow so i'll do it now. tomorrow, the 23rd of december would be mark the day where we had our first night together. nothing kinky, *winks, haha but it's one night to remember. two years back, i had a big crush on you, it was the biggest thing i've ever had for somebody i barely knew. i remember falling in love with you the second time i saw you, i didn't even know your full name. and the next thing i know, gladys was laughing at me for going gaga over the mere sight of your name tag.

one night after work, i jokingly asked if you want to send me home. surprisingly, you agreed to it. i was in a deep shock. i remembered us meeting outside topman cus we didnt want anyone else to know, but well i was so excited i couldnt hide my anxiety. and on the bus, you told me you've got a girlfriend and my heart sunk at that point of time. i didn't know what to do. while you went on and on about her, all i could think was, shit i have to talk to gladys right now, holy shit.

i suppressed all my feelings, and then we had supper at the coffeeshop downstairs. it was after midnight when we finished the meal, we continued to talk and talk endlessly about everything under the sun. we never ran out of topics but i wasn't truly happy cus i was bothered by the fact that you're attached. and then she called and i felt embarrassed and upset when i hear you guys talk on the phone. i was thinking, man this guy is never gonna be mine. the talk continued till daylight. we had breakfast together at the same place, and then at six am, you left to catch the first bus home, while i went home to get my sleep.

it's funny how things turned out after that, though i'm ashamed of what happened in the middle of it. but the twists and turns of events brought us together in the end, anyway. that night was special, cus it was our first night together. and that night, it made me fell madly in love with you. two years from then, i'm falling even deeper, its way too deep. i can never live without you.

you're so damn amazing i dont know how i made you fell in love with me in the first place, i'm just an average girl who has nothing good. but damn, you're everything i wanted to be. i love you baby, i really do. i hope this time, it would last. "happy first night ever anniversary" :)

all the singlets, all the singlets.

2009-12-23T03:44:00.000+08:00

i've got pictures to blog!

met my dear 3cheers! for dinner monday night, where else, but thomson haha. sigh we are lifeless people who always go to the same ol' places. :(

kev and his broken butterfly haha damn gay.

prissy thanks for the cookies, i love it so much i gobbled all up later that night! :D

icekimo icekimo icekimo

ahh this guy always cracks me up.

today today was girls day out! i love hanging out with my girls, i'm so lucky to have a bunch of girlfriends to grow up together with, one more week to 7 years together! omg seven years, it's almost half of our entire lives!

simply shopping and eating and drinking endless bubble teas made my day girls, love you all forever okiesxzs :D

casse and i waited for ming to knock off and we walked to the bus stop together, i know very sweet right, ming? join us more often ok! we mizz you everytime you can't be there with us :(

and...

for you my dear long jaw, chin up okay! you've been there when during my break-up and i'm here for you too. everything's over and you gotta move on alright? you're so stronger, so much stronger than i am, and i'm envious of you. i wouldn't have been able to handle it like this, you're so admirable. i love you ok, and you'd definitely find another guy who'd love you as much as we do, no worries alrights? i'm always here, making lame jokes and suan you and just being there when you need somebody. hugs, and everything bad will be over soon. <3

on the other hand, i've finished the whole 10 seasons of f.r.i.e.n.d.s., and can't say that i'm not sad cus i love this show. anyone has spare time should catch this series, its hilarious :)

ok, i'll post another post after this one. catch me again :)

mana?

2009-12-20T18:09:00.000+08:00

hiiiii, i've got fresh manicured silver nails.

back from jusco, exhausted fr all the walking :S big labels here are so expensive! topshop and dorothy perkins' prices are double of singapore's, tsk. i still thought i could get some cheap thrills here, oh well.

i miss my beebeeeeee :(

whistle thistle.

2009-12-19T16:52:00.001+08:00

aye hey hello wello everybody! currently blogging live from thistle hotel, johor bahru haha.

short getaway in a romantic hotel with the non-romantic company, that's my little boyfriend! :D

ok.... time for nap while he's gone for his swim. bye!

fuck today

2009-12-17T02:46:00.000+08:00

i dont know what's gotten into me, perhaps today is just not my day. today was rough, cried and picked myself up and now it's all shit again. slowly i sense myself changing back into the old me, the one whom you fell out of love with. i wonder if it's the pms, stress and the lack of sleep, or is it just me? the character, the personality just stays, no matter how much you thought you've changed. today i did a lot of thinking and well, i dont know, i guess it didn't really derived to a conclusion. i feel like i'm drifting somewhere, like in the ocean, aimless and directionless. i glanced ahead and i'm bored by what i saw, i have no idea what i'm going to do. yes i'm excited it's finally holidays but again there's nothing i can do. what? study for exams or preparing for sis' wedding? bee's coming over is one thing that truly excites me but i just want to skip everything and jump right straight onto the day when he arrives. i feel so fucking insecure i fucking hate myself. now i've got it, and i'm going to ruin everything again because of my insecurities. i'm in a really bad mood and at 2.29am, no one's here to talk to me. i'm tearing but i dont know why, i just feel uncomfortable being in this body. i dont know what i want. nowadays i see 11:11, i get excited, and then i spent the entire minute thinking bout what i should wish for. i'm glad to say everything that i've wanted, i've gotten it, so there's no need for me to wish for anything anymore, that's a good thing. but somehow i feel helpless and just meaningless. i feel lifeless, i'm breathing but it's as though i'm not alive. these few days, this whole week has been shitty. whatever i did or said, eveything is wrong, incorrect, offensive. i'm in a fucking terrible mood and i dont even know how to explain! makes everything even worse. at night, i think about how you laugh, how i love to hear your laughter but then i realized i seldom make you laugh. is it me who's the one who always laughed too loud so it made your laugh less obvious? or is it that, i don't make you laugh at all? i think back and i realised i know how to make my friends laugh but you, i dont know. is it you who don't laugh so easily or is it me who doesn't make you happy? i'm saddened by this fact, do you know that? i don't want you to stay there for the rest of your lives guarding some family business because it sucks, okay? the whole idea of it is fucking stupid and i don't understand how you are going to give up an exciting life for such a mundane one, f.o.r.e.v.e.r. no, i dont fucking get it, and i dont want you to waste your life away. i hear you talk about your day, it's nothing new, not only it's boring, it's also stagnant. i can't believe anyone who would want to give up their original life for that. i understand for family, or for a few years, but you're prepared to do that for the rest of your life? oh my god. i dont know what to say. i'm afraid of talking you out of it because i know you wouldnt like me saying that, but you're a man, why? why on earth would you want to waste your entire life staying there when you had such better life over here in singapore? i feel dejected... because deep inside i want you back so badly. i want you to tell me you are going to move back here and never leave again. i need you honey, i need you so much. when i have a bad day like this i want you to hold me, and not just comfort me over the phone. it's not enough, it's never enough. i fucking want my old life back, i don't want to lose you. i wished you were here. :(

i know it doesnt make sense for what i've typed, it's a whole chunk of garbage but i really need a channel to vent this out. i can't do this alone nor could i coop it inside of me anymore. it's tough, this is tough.

Hero.

2009-12-16T20:26:00.006+08:00

Would you dance, if I asked you to dance?

Would you run, and never look back?

Would you cry, if you saw me crying?

And would you save my soul, tonight?

Would you tremble, if I touched your lips?

Would you laugh? Oh please tell me this

Now would you die, for the one you love?

Hold me in your arms, tonigh

i don't want to be just somebody.

2009-12-14T22:15:00.000+08:00

taking a break from photoshopping! my eyes are soooo exhausted. -.- 3 hours since the start and i'm only still at page two haha. nevermind, im sure i can finish it by today! :D

shake it for a polaroid picture!

2009-12-13T16:52:00.000+08:00

test-shots for sis' wedding :D

i forgot to mention in last night's post that, the new version of bishi-bashi is bloody fun!

that's all!

i heart cheap thrills!

2009-12-13T04:16:00.000+08:00

my goodness it's alr 4:07am, cant bear the thought of my dark circles tomorrow and how many heaps of concealer i have to smack on it. but well, i stayed up bcus of my two dear friends and im glad that i am the one that they turned to when they are down. because they have been there when i needed them, i want to be the one for them when they need someone too. but of cus i would like them to be happy more than anything else, like i've said to them. :)

today is one of the happier days amongst recent days, i am in a beautiful mood, with all smiles and chirpy voice and a healthy mind. wan and i had dinner and h2h talk and then just when we were about to end the day, we had great buys at pasar malam! who'd have thought clothes at pasar malam has become so pretty nowadays, and totally worth it. i got another maxi dress for only $19, i heart cheap thrills!

3.

2009-12-12T03:02:00.000+08:00

third post within a few hours... one more paragraph about my current thoughts and i'm done. actually i've forgotten all about what i wanted to type here. oh yes i rmbr now, i want my pms-y mood to be over asap cus it is ruining things. can't even be happy when i'm on the phone, and i'm always tearing over the smallest things. don't say that he is, even i am irritated by myself. i hate being in this kind of mood when nothing seems to be able to cheer you up. fuck. hopefully tmrw it will come and everyth will be back to same again. & despite showing signs of irritation, he said things that were really sweet as well. well, i guess that should be enough to cover up my unhappiness for awhile :)

this is long but i've been meaning to write...

2009-12-12T01:55:00.000+08:00

after the break-up, i realized i'm always alone. i'm someone who really like having me-time, and i always like travelling to places all alone. taking long bus rides, listening to songs on my ipod. & just take my time to think about my life and what's going on. but after he left... it's like having me-time 24/7. it's always me and me alone, and i hate it, i am fucking sick of it. nowadays the thought of having to do something or go somewhere alone makes my heart aches, i am so fucking reluctant to be without a companion especially when it's always the two of us wherever we go... it sucks you know, being the one who's left behind.

that day, sam went for her haircut and i decided to roam around fep since there isn't much space left at the salon. and i felt so lonely, it's like i'm drowned and suffocated by loneliness. i bought some snacks and ate at the fountain... i looked around and realized people are all in pairs, except for me. i wanted to cry so badly but i bit my lips and controlled myself to not cry over such silly things. when i took the escalator up, i looked at all the couples, and think about how envious i am... to be able to spend time with your loved one is such a simple and normal thing, but there i was, deprived of that and super jealous of them. i was envious, and i wondered how many lonely souls had been in envy of us when we were still together, just hanging out as a couple, totally nonchalant bout others. that point of time, i literally ran back to the salon to find sam cus i couldnt stand being alone for another minute. & i'm so glad she was there.

i re-watched 'the notebook" again that day... it is probably my favourite movie ever. this is like my 4th time watching it and i'm falling deeper in love with it. noah and allie lost each other when they were younger, and when they fell in love again, they were faced with allie's decision to stay or leave. noah couldn't bear the thought of losing allie twice... so do i. like i said, i'm happy with him, so so happy and in love. but i can't even bring myself to think about the what-ifs, what if i have to lose you again? the first time i lost you it almost took my life, it almost ruined who i am. if i were to lose you again... i dont know... my heart shall be broken forever. i'm scared you know, he means so damn much but he's so far away. i'm left all alone here and i don't know what to do, i don't know how to face all these.

i haven't been sensitive for quite awhile now and it's such an achievement for me cus all my close pals know that i'm an over-sensitve bug and just can't stop thinking bout the bad things. but i'm over it, i've changed. it's only these days i've been in a bad mood the moment i wake up and it doesn't feel good cus without a reason to be frustrated about, you can't fix it. maybe it's just pms-y, i just hope this would be over soon cus i absolutely hate feeling like this.

i just wanna be normal and be happy and laugh without worries, most importantly, i really want the one that i love to be with me all the time. i miss having that. :( and i really need someone to be around me most of the time.

HI, I'M BORED.

2009-12-12T01:34:00.000+08:00

i. am. so. fucking. bored.

its late and i probably should get some sleep, but tmrw's a saturday and i don't wanna waste my chances to get to stay up late without feeling guilty :D but on the other hand, there's absolutely nothing to do. waiting for his call..... and feeling really hungry but nothing to eat. uh what to do what to do what to do. and i'm feeling a teeny weeny bit emo again. AGAIN.

hongkong'09 (day two!)

2009-12-09T16:05:00.000+08:00

today i woke up feeling the urge to blog about our hongkong trip. by far i've only blogged about the first day, two months since we're back fr there, i'm missing hongkong so much. especially disneyland aft viewing at all tumblrs about disney!

here's the second day - spent my 18th birthday at disneyland, felt damn great :)

hk breakfast, with iced milk tea. they don't put ice into the milk teas, they put it like this so as not to affect the taste. & it tastes real good!

can't stop gushing bout how cute this is. this is an actual mtr train, but it's designed like this cus it only leads to disneyland. inside of it are couches instead of normal cold, hard seats. & disney ornaments and statues :)

quanbo, no need go england so far also have castle lah!

11sgd for this mickey ears & free engraving of name!

this is stupid, all the while we kept thinking this elephant is real hahaha.

these characters are damn adorable, they'd hold on to your hands aft the photo-taking, like they don't allow you to leave. or they will hug you before and after the photo-taking. aww i miss being there.

i (L) donald duck!

we went to the avenue of stars after disneyland is closed,

& he bought me roses bcus it's my birthday. :)

许留山 yumtums :P

we had the longest day ever of the entire trip but it was the most memorable day ever. had so much fun over at disneyland's though there aren't thrill rides, it's more like kids version of the actual disneyland but it was still great nonetheless. i really wanna visit disneyland again, not the hk one of cus, but the others are so far and expensive... doubt that i'll be able to in the near future :/

lucky i'm in love with my best friend.

2009-12-09T03:52:00.000+08:00

i'm going to help book the tickets alr and i'm so excited! just waiting for him to give me the nod tomorrow and then i can click click and get a set of return tickets. we are both so excited, we spent an hour just now talking 'bout the short trip and sourcing for all the budget hotels. thinking bout the eight days he's gonna be here thrills me. one more monthhhhh but i can't wait already!

i thought about our current r/s and i'm really happy with what i have. when i first came back i desperately wanted us to be back tgt officially, but now i realised that all i wanted was a sense of security. but so what if he's officially my boyfriend, he could still cheat on me if he wants to, same goes for being my husband. but if he seriously doesn't have any intention of cheating on me, he wouldnt even take a second glance at other girls right now. i guess what matters most is the relationship both of us are sharing, and not the status crap. i mean of cus it's nice if we can go official again, but for the time being, i love us this way.

what's more, he seriously my bestest friend. i tell him every single thing and he's just more than a lover, he'd give me advices and comments about everyth i tell him. not those usual boyfriends who would only go "mm" and "uh" when you tell them girly stuffs. he understands and i'm so glad i have a best friend as a lover :)

Crop the locks!

2009-12-06T20:59:00.000+08:00

seriously needing a haircut, browsed around and its now down to these three choices. i want to make it a nice one cus after this cut, i'll be growing my hair long. not that i'm bored of short hair but i guess its time to make a change to my image. plus bb wants to see me in long hair too haha.

i'll take the agyness deyn's one i guess! can't wait to revamp my hair urgh.

cant wait to see uuuuuu

2009-12-04T02:22:00.001+08:00

wo love bb :)

Comeback.

2009-12-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

oh my mama my blog's so damn boring haha, i prefer tumblrig though. actually no sense blogging since photos are all up onto facebook and i express all my feelings on tumblr, so... well, even so, i shall upload piccas too so as to wash away those boring entries haha no wonder no one commented on my blog :(

last wed, worked as a receptionist for some event at shangri-la with gajah ;)

we had 4-course hotel dinner, yumtums. i luv the dessert especially! the ice-cream is of rocher flavour, omg im craving for it still!

shopping date with this girl, i luv the pict above haha her face damn classic i couldnt stop laughing

inside the xmas tree! the lightings are so beautiful this year, its a pity you're not here with me :(

winebar afterwhich for erjie's bday :)

hehe my paddington dog with his new raincoat :P

& one fine midnight when i was getting ready for bed, the soon-to-be-married sista said she cant slp so she tried on her saree for us to see. i resisted all temptations to wear the full saree but still :

!!!

ahhaha i look awfully awful with the head dress, i cant marry indians i swear haha or i'll be the ugliest bride ever. & pardon the tak glam face, it was alr 330 in the morning :)

wow long time no blog uh, haha i'll be back soon. meanwhile follow my tumblr! i swear it's so much more fun than this space hehe.

my own thanksgiving!

2009-11-28T01:09:00.000+08:00

before i head to bed, i wanna give thanks. thanks to whoever's been hearing and answering my prayers, i don't know who, but maybe credits to 11:11, or eyelashes or anita and amora who's been giving me great advices. ok this sounds really silly but when you're helpless, you will turn to just whoever that you think may help you. glad to say, my darker days are finally over. right now i am so contented with my life, i shan't go into details cus blogging often jinx it i dont know why. anyway finally things are back on the track and i believe that there are better days to come. so thanks to everyone who has been there for me once again, you guys are a big help. here's a GREAT hug, i love you guys. thank you so much.

Let's rub our noses together! :D

2009-11-25T02:30:00.000+08:00

Today, I looked at one of my friend and thought about how I used to make remarks about this person's life. How I used to think because I have a much happening life, I'm more superior than him/her. &then today I looked at this person as s/he walked away, I realised how fucking arrogant and complacent I was. I should have been contented of what I had and not bring others down by flaunting it. Now s/he has something that I don't have and I feel like a bloody loser but I know this is what they call karma.

& on the way home, it suddenly dawned on me that, perhaps its exactly this arrogance of mine that life took away my most precious possesion to make me learn a lesson, the hard way. Now I know, if I have something that others don't have, I should feel blessed and just keep my mouth shut and not even think that s/he's a loser just because s/he don't have what I have 'cause that is wrong.

& maybe now that I've learnt my lesson, and am learning to grow up, life's gonna return me my beloved.

Sidenote:

Picture above, needy Tangle cosying up to me, bearbearleong and piggybee. &all four of us went to a nap together minutes aft this photo was taken. These days, Tangle follows me around more and always choose to lie beside me. It's either he's cold, or he knows I'm lonely too.

Nights fellas!

life's good when all you do is to tumblr.

2009-11-22T18:34:00.000+08:00

letsfallinlovetogether.tumblr.com

better go get ready now, meeting my girls for dinner :)

Pursuit of happiness!

2009-11-21T00:57:00.000+08:00

shall blog bout the trip before i head to bed! need to wake up early tomorrow to do assignmentz.

anyway to whoever who reads the blog, i'm sure you do know bout this trip right, it's my pursuit of happiness. he told me not to upload these picts to fb so i'm uploading here cus readers here are all my close friends so no harm right!

here, excited to meet the lover in another four hours' time!

airasia very lousy leh, no boarding pass, only boarding receipt haha.

luckily they were willing to acc there, otherwise i wont have these two days of happiness :)

YAYYYY!

when i saw him at the airport, it was all awkward. i felt like idk this man anymore cus i havent seen him for so long. but it didnt take long for us to warm up and be back to normal again. i love having him around, i hope he does

too :)

i love the way he drives haha. he gets so uptight and scared but it's so cute :)

one last one in the room before we leave. :/

small hotel, but 110sgd for two nights and wifi in my room! more than expected alr haha.

anyway i got short term memory so i only rmbr all the sweet things that happened, all trivial stuffs i forgot alr. so these two days were all worthwhile and i believe we are both working on it and let's hope everything will turn out like what we want the next time we meet which is next month.

i love you, honey. :)

Baby, you're my number one.

2009-11-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

I'm really really happy and contented how things has turned out during these two days. Somehow, it was even more than what I've expected. Sam asked if I'm finally feeling secured now, I thought so, but I'm still afraid. I know his feelings now and I'm really glad, but when I think about the fact that he's still not mine, I'm still afraid. It's like you're grabbing onto something but you can lose grip of it anytime. I don't like this feeling but I know I shouldn't complain anymore. From zero to what I have now, I've put in so much effort. I have to remind myself that I should be contented, 'cause if I complain about what I have now, they might just take everything away and I can't afford that to happen.

Aside from that, I feel blessed these days. Have you ever spend time with someone so special that you think you guys complete each other? It's like when you're with that person, you've found your missing piece. When I was with him, my heart felt so secure and for the first time in so long, I am genuinely filled with happiness and not worries. Not one worry has struck me when I was with him. When in doubt, I'll hold your hand and everything will be alright. When I'm sad, I pout, and you will come around and place your forehead against mine, hold my hands and give me a kiss. You are never good at words but I know what you're trying to convey with ever single action of yours. And I love them. I love how you laugh till you're breathless. I love holding your hands when you drive. I love it when I tried to let go of your hand and you grabbed it the moment I lose grip. Most importantly of all, I love you.

It's amazing how you can not meet someone for the longest time, but when fate brings you back together, it's as though you guys were never apart. I think that's wonderful. That means there's something special between the both of you. And I'm so so glad I managed to find a love so strong. Though the next time I'll see you is a month away. But like what Chris said, a month for a lifetime of happiness? I guess it's all worthwhile. I think so too. I can't wait, baby, to hug you, kiss you and hold your hands whenever we go :)

Shout-out!

2009-11-18T04:09:00.000+08:00

I foresee that this post is gonna be wordy. Well, haha one last post before I shut the laptop and resume my packing. Urgh I seriously hate packing stuffs, but what to do. Wishing that I can just go to sleep and when I'll open my eyes, I'll wake up to him hehe. Though I really like taking planes but still, I really can't wait to see him! Another ten hours to go, omg. Ok I'll see him before I even know it :D

Met my darling girlfriends for dinner just now, nothing fancy, just dinner at Mosburger and chit chat for a couple of hours straight. Ya and thanks to ming I had to eat some potato burger alongside with french fries (potato) plus clam chowder (with potato chunks inside) but still hahaha you know I'm only fa fa lao sao. Watched "My girlfriend's an agent" with wantonmee aft that, it was nice and funny lei hahaha. Hopefully when I get there we will have some movies to watch too.

What else, 've got some family problems but thinking of the fact that I'm seeing him tomorrow makes everything ok. Nothing else can bring me down. I'm starting to worry bout tmrw alr, how?! I better go sleep and not think so much, leave all the rest to the one and half hours on the plane later for some serious thoughts.

Friends, take care!!! I'll be back in no time, (with good news!)

tumblr-lovin'

2009-11-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

time for some tumblr-lovin' :

old love: the sweetest kind of love.

i bet you're gushing. if you're not then you're just jealous.

i love this. &i long one day he'll tell me something like this. something that lets me know he's worth the wait all this while.

can you believe it? two more days and i get to meet him. two more days ha ha ha. time for some kisses!

(K)

charms' nineteen!

2009-11-15T17:55:00.000+08:00

charms' big nineteen last night over at stjames. i luv spending time with the bistro girls, though i've quit long time but we're still in contact and that makes me really happy hehe. i'll just let the pictures do all the talking!

i luv my pink boots.

music was great but i dont rly like stjames idk why. still prefer phuture & zirca. i shall give stjames one more shot next time. left much earlier than expected due to dizzy spells, lousy me. but still, happy birthday charms, you know i love you! (L)

The pursuit of happiness.

2009-11-15T03:53:00.000+08:00

This space has been filled with all sorts of emo posts that makes people wants to kill themselves after reading it. But I'm so sorry 'cus the author here isn't in a happy place now so just bear with it. I'm waiting for my sunshine after this rain as well. Can't wait to be truly happy and worry-free, just like before.

Yesterday was heart-breaking, actually it is, everyday. But last night I was hurt to the extent that I couldn't breathe. But I'm really thankful to these 5 people who're my first choice to turn to, and they never ran away - Sam, Casse, Wan, Ming and Venice. Thanks for tolerating all my nonsense and my depressing thoughts. You guys are so supportive, I'm really thankful for all of your existence. I have the most wonderful girlfriends around. Go on, be jealous :)

But later at night everything felt better. It seems so silly but yet it's true that the one who's making you hurt is the only one who can take all the pain away. One phone call and it changes everything. The hurt in my heart went away in an instant and soon my msn was again filled with the long-lost smiley faces. Though I'm afraid that some time soon these days he's going to say another word and all the pain will come back and find me but I really like how I'm feeling now so I'm just hoping that it won't be replaced by pain again.

My sweethearts have been telling me to just stay positive and stop thinking all bout the woes. It'll just bring me down and I think they're right. Today I hasn't cried and I'm truly happy for that even though it seemed like nothing to some of you. I can't wait to see him and there's only another four days to go and I'm really excited. There's nothing else I can do now but hope for the best. I hope all of you here will hope for the best for me too. And I need luck, lots and lots of them. 'Cus this time is my last chance and I'm going all out to get my happiness back.

2009-11-14T01:32:00.002+08:00

I believe that two people are connected at the heart. And it doesnt matter what you do, or who you are, or where you live; there are no boundries or barriers. If two people are destined to be together, they will be.

The list.

2009-11-14T00:33:00.000+08:00

I am envious of couples that can withstand long-distance relationship, and still love each other so much. I'm even envious of couples which broke up and got back together in the end. I thought Lily and Rufus was just a fictional, but as I browsed Facebook, I realized it's not impossible. People around me has gotten back together with each other after breaking up. So, (though I promise to stay positive) if this time round it fails, we may just be next-in-line for someone-up-there's list of "Couples who will get back together and this time round, they won't be separated again list".

:), well who knows right?

STAY POSITIVE AND SMILE!!!!

2009-11-13T23:36:00.000+08:00

"Look, I guarantee that we’ll have tough times. And I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us will want to get out of this thing. But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine I’ll regret it for the rest of my life. Because I know in my heart, you’re the only one for me."

Few more days left, TINGYUAN GO GO GO !!!!!

I love F.R.I.E.N.D.S

2009-11-13T00:07:00.000+08:00

Ross: It's just, Rachel and I, we're doing really well now.

Phoebe: I know. If you try to make it more, you might wreck it.

Ross: Yeah, exactly.

Phoebe: Right.

Phoebe: Or, you might get everything you've wanted since you were 15.

You might fail if you try, but if you don't try, you will never succeed.

Wish me luck :)

Surprise in store.

2009-11-12T01:15:00.002+08:00

I want to say but I won't say it to you. I miss you, goodnight. Miss you so so much. <3

Tough fight but I'm gonna pull it through.

2009-11-11T12:56:00.000+08:00

These days, my heart couldn't stop aching. It ached like when we first broke up. It's already been a month, the pain hasn't go away and I don't think it will ever does. You can say a million of things to hurt me, to break my heart into a million tiny pieces, but when it boils down to the one fact that I still love you, it makes me strong again. I know I am stupid to keep wanting to hold onto this thin thread when you have said it that you don't love me anymore, and that you don't want me anymore. But you have your beliefs, I have mine too. I know if this time I'm going to give up just because of the words you say, I'll spend my entire life regretting it. Throughout this relationship, I have listened to you too many times. This time, I'm truly gonna fuck care your opinions, your selfishness and just go get what I want.

If I fail, and fall, and have my heart broken all over again, at least I tried. & then that's gonna be your loss, 'cus I fought for my happiness and you didn't, at all.

imu.

2009-11-09T12:36:00.000+08:00

"You want to know why I love you? It’s because you loved me when I didn’t love myself. It’s because you held up my beauty for me to see. It’s because you cared for me unconditionally. It’s because for the first time in my life, i didn’t have to work so hard at being happy."

True.

blasty weekends, boomz!

2009-11-06T00:37:00.000+08:00

the last weekend was a blast, really. from fri-sun i've had lots & lots of fun, aside from time to sleep, i didn't even have time to do anything. in a way, it's good to burn your weekends like this, me likey.

sam's birthday over at pasta inc, overpriced but overall it's still good. will blog about it in detail when i'm really free some other time. the surprise kinda failed though, but oh well, yknow we love you right! sheesha after that, ming came and it was full attendance on sammo's big day.

i love y'all girls <3

num show the next night, bought my pink doc marts before going over and i'm happy! though i kinda used all of my earnings fr tuition to pay for the boots. oh well, that's how i work haha. show wasn't as great as mr sg, but with some of the same guys there, it was still fun. party till 4am that night, had so much laughter just being around them :)

supposedly time to hit the bed now since i've classes tmrw at ten freaking am, but i'm still waiting for that special someone to call. & for him, i'll give up just almost anything :)

.

2009-11-05T12:04:00.001+08:00

fucking chio but 3.5 inches!

should i should i ???

100th: happy!

2009-11-01T03:50:00.000+08:00

100th post! my aim was to be able to post something good for this special post and my wish came true! over the phone, he said something really sweet and i just melted there into a puddle of butter. i love you so so much <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ADRIAN :D

2009-10-31T14:17:00.000+08:00

adrian's birthday party last night at 15 minutes! :D

sitting beside this guy made me laughed till belly ache! hahaha.

ah i cant rmbr what we were laughing about! haha but based on alex' face, it must be something about him! haha what else right!

realized i've never took a pict with kingsley before, so here it goes. but alan the scary head has to go spoil the photo, as usual! hahah. tsk.

look so couplesy right! hahaha nelson, you lose alr!

there see, i dont want you, i go find tank alr :D

birthday boy! with a really weird smile idk why haha.

story behind this photo:

alex has been hugging tank for every pict, then alex suddenly sat in front of him and say, you hug me lei! hahaha the two gays ah, always trying to traumatize tank. poor him :D

cupcakes time!

faryz were seducing tank to share the cupcake and then all the guys started to shove their heads towards each other haha. see faryz's face was alr shouting "come here baby!" , but too bad ah, it didnt work out! haha major disappointment.

put two hunks tgt... and they'll think they are doing a photoshoot. tsk. haha.

over to winebar next! woohoo i srsly like sitting in weiming's van. anyway winebar was filled with people, or ghosts, or angels, whatever. took us quite awhile to get a table.

it was one for one orange juice night for the three of us :)

HAHA i thought she failed to take me!

ok last but not least, faryz couldnt stop going on and on about how he's reserved tank for sunday night. omg, this guy never gets tired haha.

anyway i had hell lots of fun! i laughed so much till my mouth ached and my throat went sore, again. haha these guys are super fun to be with. can't wait for tmrw night!!! gonna rock zirca, again!

p.s. still feel bad about what i said, sorry gajah!! you know i love you, xoxo. :(

:(

2009-10-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

Hot. (Punehto Chips) says: (12:00:12 AM)

i just want to know 我曾经对你来说也是重要的

jian leong says: (12:00:41 AM)

yes..u r zong yao 4 me..4 dis life..

jian leong says: (12:00:51 AM)

i got miss u too..

The longer after the break up, the more I realize, no other man can make me feel the way you did.

You're the only one.

.

2009-10-26T00:55:00.002+08:00

No one's being fair to me right now.

(Untitled)

2009-10-24T17:10:00.003+08:00

"Well, I know I’ll never make things right and I’m fine with this as long as you sleep well at night. So sleep well at night cause what’s been said I surely meant and I’m happy for you if you’re happy without me."

- eletheowl

(Untitled)

2009-10-24T17:09:00.001+08:00

"In that moment, I felt my heart break. and I thought, “I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you”, and then it slowly crept into my head that no matter how bad I wanted or needed you, it wouldn’t matter. Somehow, and very painfully, I was sure. My life would continue, with or without you."

- eletheowl

someone to love and hold?

2009-10-22T23:49:00.001+08:00

out with 3cheers! today for dinner and ice-cream, wanted udders but we couldn't find 'cus i couldnt rmbr the exact location. went for b&j's at unitedsq instead and when we walked out of there, we saw udders right in front of us! hahaha that was damn idiotic. anyway we had lots of fun at toys'r'us, and that stupid kevin couldn't stop singing the damn toys'r'us song haha. & we tried all the halloween masks! all and all, it was damn fun 'cus we couldnt stop laughing :)

no picts cus it's all with prissy. uh, tmrw's one last day and embrace the weekends! not in my top form, and i'm feeling rly sucky. this is shingz-ed, hahaha omg. k will try to slp now, nights! <3

sally the snake:

2009-10-21T00:06:00.000+08:00

I WANT !!!!

i shall see if there's any rip-off in sprees hehe, cheapo me. anyway school's been fine, but i'm always lethargic and restless and ended up talking to xiaozheng bout r/s stuffs during lessons. or texting, or msn-ing, or facebook chatting with lifang when i see her fb-ing in front of me haha. my modules are okay but like 3/5 are bout literature and it just makes me wanna yawn.

my lecturer for pop culture turns out to be my communications faci in w34f! & she still rmbrs me, :) ok no school tmrw but have to wake up at 6am tmrw, who ask me to agree to help out adrian in a shoot. ah, i can ramble on and on 'cus i dont want to slp and i have to. i luv my girls, i luv my 3cheers!+bin (we rly shld give ourselves a grp name), & you. and you, i miss you.

ok bye!

FTTTTTTT!

2009-10-20T00:09:00.001+08:00

I need to book a date for my FTT or else this will just keep drag on and on and on. Hello pris and kev!

When!!!! I don't care y'all ah, I go book myself alr hehe.

But I want you to move on, so I'm already gone.

2009-10-18T23:33:00.013+08:00

Already Gone - Kelly Clarkson

Remember all the things we wanted

Now all our memories they're haunted

We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high

It never would've worked out right

We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out

I didn't come here to hold you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter

Where we take this road someone's gotta go

And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better

But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder

But I know that you'll find another

That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in

Perfect couldn't keep this love alive

You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

Every single word in this song is describing how I feel. It hurts.

SawatiCupnoodles!

2009-10-18T05:26:00.000+08:00

Uploaded the picts! Quite fast right I know. Ok, shall do some blogging before I head to bed.

Last night, brought the three girls out for their virgin clubbing experience at Zouk! Reached there when it was still a ghost club, but the dance floor got so packed after that it was impossible for us to squeeze in. & everybody only had like one square feet to dance in hahaha.

The music was good lei, we like. But the space, uh too cramped. Zirca next time ok! :)

Haha me imitating G.

We clubbed till the lights were back on, & then they came and stay over as planned. Sam & Ming concussed soon after but me and Wan had truck loads of fun hahaha. Had cup noodles at 6 in the morning, & I kept asking her not to sleep 'cus siaopeh me wasn't tired at all haha. At 7plus when I was about to fall asleep, Ming's calender reminder rang and then the tune felt so much like a thai song so I kept dancing thai dance to Wan and both of couldn't stop laughing hahaha!

We said a lot of stupid stuffs as well lah, like the snake and the indian man story. Haha that's what all the booze and sleepless nights are turning us into. Wan and I went shopping after that, and then I went to the apartment to meet the rest of the MSO people, it was hell funny. :)

Ok, one more day till school's in! Don't feel excited at all man, how? :S

I knew you were the one from the moment we met, or at least I thought so.

2009-10-18T02:24:00.001+08:00

It doesn't matter that I'm loving and living this life I'm having now. It doesn't matter that I don't have to care bout your feelings anymore when I want to do anything. It doesn't matter that I can wear whatever I want, without being afraid that you will not like it, or that our clothes will be mismatched. It doesn't matter that I can give some strangers my number and danced with him and flirt with him whenever I want.

But it matters so much when at the end of the day I come home, and I don't see you around. It matters so much that before I head to bed, you're not there to say "goodnight, i love you." It matters so much that I'm no longer awakened by your daily good morning kiss before you leave for work. It matters so much that I'm no longer receiving your texts and calls. It matters so much that when I dance with some fucked-up strangers, you're all that I think about. It matters so much that when I wake up, I don't wake up to your texts. And just when I thought you don't miss me at all, you send me a goodnight msg when I least expected it. & it matters even more because that one single text made my heart cringe and made me cried buckets the moment I reached home.

I look at everything around me and everything reminds me of you. I look at your pictures and hate that I can't rewind time so I can just have you here one more time. I think about what's happening around me now and wonder what we'll be doing if you're still here. I miss holding your hands, making you laugh and kiss you wherever and whenever I want. You were mine for so long and now I just lost it. I swear I gave all my love, I sacrificed whatever I could, I cherished you so much I have never took you for granted for a single second. I miss you every moment even when we were still together. But why am I the one who has to suffer all these pain?

It's so tough trying to control myself from contacting you. I want to pick up the damn phone so badly just so I can cry and tell you that I miss you and I want you back so fucking badly. But I'm sane and sober enough to know that I'll be just crushed if I ever make that call. 'Cause I know how much it hurts to say "i miss you" to someone and never have it said back.

& even though this is torturing me, I know that I want you to be happy. Never mind that I'm exchanging all these tears for your happiness. Never mind that this is going to haunt me forever. I love you so I'm letting you go, allowing you to find happiness. Right now you feel that you'll be happier without me, so I'm not holding you back anymore. But if one day you realise only with me, then you'll be truly happy, then please come back, 'cus I'll be right here waiting for you, as long as I could.

MSO, :)

2009-10-15T03:57:00.004+08:00

Some picts from Stomp:

Haha me and Darryl during the Q&A session.

The guys, Top 5 in front.

The one in beige: Mr International 2008, the one in black: Mr Singapore 2008 (Alex lah), and me the trophy girl once again! Haha.

& Alan, president of Mr Singapore Organisation. Ok and me! Look at my eyes, think I'm looking at Zam or someone there lah. Haha.

Woo, lastly: me and Nelson. I like this pict, it's very nice :)

Ok it's fun overall, can't wait for NUM show on 1st Nov. Same guys again! :)

:)

2009-10-15T02:20:00.004+08:00

"The next time you forget you’re Blair Waldorf, remember I’m Chuck Bass. And I love you.”

Monday to monday, friday to friday.

2009-10-15T00:25:00.000+08:00

"She wolf" MV is so bad! Like some really low-budget MV done for some low-class singer. Can't even bear to watch it the second time. Should be really sexy but it isn't at all. :S

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xt1jhoP4Btg

Anyway, girls' day out today! Ming and I went for some Cotton-on-'lovin this afternoon and got myself a really cute jacket for only 16bucks! Hee, thanks Ming. And then met Sam, and then Wan for dinner at J8 after my tuition. It was really fun, and full of crap. Oh what else right? Ok, friday we are gonna rock the entire night! Can't wait ;)

*Happy with what I have now, contented with what we are. I don't want to lose this but I wish you could be happier, like I am now.*

Fighter Sam!

2009-10-13T20:56:00.001+08:00

THIS IS SPECIALLY DEDICATED TO SAMMO THE FIGHTER!!!

Fighter - Christian Aguilera

When I, thought I knew you
Thinking, that you were true
I guess I, I couldn't trust
'Cause your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were, there by my side
Always, down for the ride
But your, joy ride just came down in flames
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mmhmm

After all of the stealing and cheating
You probably think that I hold resentment for you
But, uh uh, oh no, you're wrong
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do
I wouldn't know just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

Oh, ohh

Never, saw it coming
All of, your backstabbing
Just so, you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard, you're going around
Playing, the victim now
But don't, even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh

After all of the fights and the lies
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down
So I wanna say thank you

'Cause it makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
Makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
It makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter

DON'T GIVE UP BABE! LOVE YOU!

I don't want.

2009-10-13T04:45:00.001+08:00

I have a feeling I'm going to cry bitterly later. Shit. Cross my fingers and wish me luck.

If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

2009-10-13T02:44:00.000+08:00

These days... it's dfficult. Today is like the fourth day and well, okay I guess I'm coping well. But you do know that it's inevitable for me to tear too. I don't want to be some pathetic worm so I keep telling myself I'm gonna stay strong and everything's gonna be over soon. Happy times will come again. But I feel damn miserable when I thought about no one's gonna hold your hand and pull you through the darkest hours, nor anyone will be there to kiss my forehead when I'm yearning for some sweetness. It's so tough, I miss you so much. What makes me better is that when I miss you, I still get to call and talk to you. That little gesture makes everything feels good. At least, it's not that torturous to handle. Just now, I heard you say "I miss you", my heart warmed. Even though you may miss me just a tiny wee bit, but it's really better than nothing. And when I wanted to hear "I love you" and you said it, though you didn't want to. I guess you don't want to give me false hope, but eventually when you spelled it out, I'm still happy. Because you still care for me, at the very least. Never thought that I will have to let go of you, but I will survive okay, don't worry. And not holding up my hopes, but I still have the feeling that we'll be back together. Cus I know you are the One, maybe you don't feel it now, but who knows right? Cus I keep thinking about the feeling I had for you the moment we met, I knew, I really knew you are going to be the One. And to comfort myself, this may be just one of the tests we have to undergo 'cus this is true love. I'm not sure if I'm in denial, but you can't lie to yourself your own feelings right? Nonetheless, promise I wouldn't wait and will start to try moving on. But if one day we get another chance to be together, I'll definitely grab hold of it and shall never let go again anymore.

Thanks to my friends: 3cheers!, Punehto especially. Luv y'all so so much.

MSO 2009 :)

2009-10-10T19:14:00.003+08:00

Last night: Mr Singapore's finals at Zirca!

Reached there at two to make preparations for the big event which has been anticipated for a good long time. Planned to start the show at 930 so we were all hyped up for hair and make-up by evening time ;)

Once I sat at the make-up artist's chair, I said "I want smokey eyes". & there you go :

Ok, this is Mr. Bishan, the one who was crowned Mr Singapore at the end of the day! :)

Alex <3, he looked so handsome in here me likey.

Ok, so after the event, it's finally party time! Gotten free drinks vouchers and there I went to meet my most idiotic friends ever - 3cheers! & well, we did what we were most capable of, dancing and playing and fooling around (yes you kevin), drinking and got really really high haha. It was damn fun!

Went to the bar and these two told me the bartender behind is from RP as well, so I asked him for free drinks since we were all from the same school hehe. & we got it!!!

Eh you two look so couple-sy here, I jealous :@

Omg, I have to tell this story hahaha. So the 3 of us got really high and then I pulled them to the somewhere like a stage in the dancefloor, like everybody could see you dance over there. & then behind us was this ang moh boy who carried a backpack when he danced. Awhile later he came and cuddled the 3 of us and said "HEY!" and started talking to me. I was scared so I kept giving Kev the eye, and then he danced danced to switch position with me so he was standing right in front of the angmoh and then he told me something like "No no no~ you can only dance with me!" in a super funny way omg hahahaa.

Hahaha moral of the story: Bring a trustworhty guy friend when you go clubbing. Kev was our shield all night haha.

"You are the most idiotic friend I've ever had" :)

Loves!!!

You two + Bin are like my bestest friends, I never have to hide my true self when I'm with y'all. I know y'all too!

3cheers! sent Pris home at 4 due to her curfew haha, but then we chatted at the coffeeshop after that and Kev even accompanied me till 6plus then we took the first bus home. Haven't been like this for awhile alr, love you guys so much. Thanks for the company!!! <3

OH and finally I found one picture of me on stage, hahahah.

Ok, enough of what's happening up front. Now I'm going to take you behind the scenes!

Mr Singapore preview show, which means, not yesterday.

Backstage, with some contestants and dressers. :)

All the guys plus make-up artists, hairstylists.

Haha the guy with the Boomz tee is the big boss of NUM.

Okay, I had fun! & in like another hour's time there's another Mr Singapore post party at someone's house, I'm still contemplating if I should go 'cus I'm totally zonked out alr. But I don't want to miss out having fun. Urgh, how how?!

To feel you.

2009-10-09T01:55:00.001+08:00

I've pretty much gotten over the fact that we're not going to do what I've planned in my mind for the following week. Or tomorrow's supposedly the day we meet, hug and kiss. It doesn't matter now. It doesn't matter what he did or how'd he hurt me. What's important is that I want him back, I need him back. It made me felt a lot better when I realized he still had the conscience to tell me that he's sorry and it's unfair to me. I thought he didn't care about me at all. But after he apologized, I'm pretty over it already. He asked me to give him two days to come up with an answer. So I shall keep my fingers crossed and await for good news, hopefully. Can't lose him, he mean way too much for me. But I know myself, after what happened, my love and trust for him has lessened a lot. Still want him by my side, nonetheless. Maybe that's love?

randomz.

2009-10-07T02:27:00.000+08:00

new haircut, way too short, like it anyhow :)

my hairstylist say he loves cutting my hair 'cus he can just keep cutting and cutting 'cus i don't care if it's too short haha. no wonder he always gives me discounts ^^

my man <3

ok, what's next are going to be exciting! at least for me, hehe.

GUESS WHO'S GETTING MARRIED ??????

MY SISTA! :D

can't wait for the wedding, everytime she's back we'll just keep asking and asking bout it non-stop hee.

so one fine day last week we accompanied her to take her wedding shots, it was definitely fun. and these are what went on behind the scenes:

so lucky that 2jie and adrian are both stylists so they are always helping out, for free!

what are sisters for righttt :)

totally irrelevant, but i like seeing them tgt haha.

but they don't rly have good feelings for each other although tangle doesn't mind hanging ard him, but kaizer is always wanting to pull tangle's tail or trying to sit on him. so everytime kaizer comes ard, tangle will go hide under the sofa haha. poor dog.

realised i haven't kiss someone for nearly a week, i can't live with that. the one person i've kissed on the lips the past week is, tadah! my nephew. so pathetic :@

One down, more to go!

2009-10-06T18:16:00.002+08:00

PASSED MY BTT TODAY! :D